The Communication Problem

Most can't talk...and they will miss out on success because of it

Monday, April 21st, 2025

Writing to you from Denver, Colorado

Communication is key.

It’s one of the primary ways that we figure out what people’s intentions are - what do they want, can I trust them, can they talk to me like an adult?

You know this already - improper communication can really make life pretty rough for at least a few minutes. It leads to huge misunderstandings in relationships, overall poor planning, mixups…we rely on good communication to make life smoother, avoid bad people, explain and understand intentions, and bring good people into our life.

But, what if you didn’t know how to communicate?

If you’re a parent or grandparent of people around my age (19) then you’ve probably seen that most of us young people don’t know how to talk. Man, even people in their late 20s have the same problem today.

This is detrimental to their success in life..

Our Own Creation

But, this, like anything in life, is no accident.

Sure, we can blame the obvious things like social media, which absolutely distorts the ability for humans to connect and talk to one another like people. Talking through text can be like talking to a robot - you don’t have the face, the tone, the feeling. Not to mention the fact that most social media apps pull you into a mindless stream of videos that change how you view people and the world.

Or, we can blame COVID-19.

Tens of millions of kids trapped at home - away from school, friends and the rest of the world - during the most pivotal years for people to learn what social interaction should look like and how to be comfortable with it.

Believe me, it definitely hindered me from getting out into the world as I should have done. As an introverted person (at an awkward time in life) the real world is what I needed, not a safety bubble.

Same goes for everyone else.

Several years of full-on or semi-isolation from people completely destroyed kids. There’s no doubt about that. Some were affected more than others - I remember scrolling through pages upon pages of news stories of kids who killed themselves during COVID.

Their reason (usually): they couldn’t see their friends.

Nonetheless, a year (sometimes more) of not really having to talk to strangers is going to make you distrust people, anxious, and a very poor communicator.

But, these external problems that we choose to blame divert our attention to the real cause…

Ourselves.

We are to blame - not COVID or social media.

Our culture has infantilized young people. We treat kids like mindless and incapable people up until they turn 18. All of a sudden the childishness that the culture (and parents) have allowed to fester must disappear and the child needs to face the world as adult.

Does that sound like a recipe for success?

If you talk to your kids like kids, treat them like kids, and practically wrap them in bubble wrap for 18 years of their life they won’t be able to communicate like adults, act like adults, and face the world, which frankly, isn’t sunshine and rainbows.

The parents who treat their kids like adults (as much as is reasonable) have kids who can talk to people comfortably and show up in the world as an adult.

Yesterday I saw two girls who I had grown up with for awhile, but hadn’t seen for 5 years. Their mom treats them like adults and so they act and communicate like it. Actually, one of the girls was complaining about how the kids she goes to school with don’t know how to talk to people.

It’s pretty much the same story for my girlfriend and her family - she has been treated as an adult and she certainly acts like it. Same goes for a friend of mine in Uruguay.

These people, who are now adults, act like it.

And there are unbelievable benefits to that…

Proper Communication Permits Progress

Sure, we can go back to the primal (and absolutely necessary) benefits of communication - building trust, communicating or understanding intentions, fixing problems, knowing when not to trust people…

But, there are many more benefits. Especially if you can communicate effectively as a young person.

Today, when the bar is set lower than you can believe, any young person who can cultivate their own ideas and explain those ideas, wants, or thoughts to those around them will be favored.

Of course, this is assuming that you’re ambitious and have your own path you’re going down too.

It’s amazing, but if you can explain specifically what you want and are seeking to do as a young person, those who are older and wiser than you will see this and try to help you in any way they can. Not only can you make allies, but you also gain opportunity.

I think I’ve been able to effectively communicate my intentions with The Preparation because every time I need guidance someone older and wiser than myself swoops in to give me a hint, a nudge, a push toward further progress.

To alter Paolo Coelho’s quote:

“When you want something (and can communicate it), all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

-Maxim Benjamin Smith